At 26, Life in 35 Questions

In the 1880s, some French dude got bored and wrote his feelings and thoughts in a questionnaire. Now, these prompts aren't actually written by him. Funny enough, he just answered it. Thus, it became the most-known questionnaire ever answered, so it was named after him.

Personally, I LOVE these questionnaires. Ever since I started blogging, I've always been interested in seeing the lives of others and, to an extent, their mindsets. I was so interested when Tiffany of Girls' Generation actually did a questionnaire like this on her old blog, and I answered those same questions at 15 years old.

When my friend 1sle answered the Proust Questionnaire on her blog, I got interested in making a post of my own. It's been a while since I've done these things anyway, so why not.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I personally think I'll be "perfectly happy" when I've found or built my home. This is a recurring theme throughout my life and, until now, I'm still trying to find my permanent one.

Realistically, this would be an actual, physical home. I'd be living with my wife and our children, and maybe we'd have nothing else to do but tend to the kids and I'd parent my kids the way I wanted to be parented when I was a kid. This is my lifelong dream and I wrote about this in A Letter to the Me of Tomorrow.

2. What is your greatest fear?

I think I'm most afraid of losing my mind. Like, actually suffering from dementia or an extreme set of schizophrenia. I am the sum of all my life experiences and just losing access to all of those memories is just horrifying. I made my mood calendar for myself so that, in the future, I can have a reference as to how my days went and how I felt on those days.

Other than that – long-haired, pale Asian lady ghosts. To this day, I'm still scared of Ju-On.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Laziness. I think I can get a lot of things done if I put my mind to it. And to be fair, I have done a lot of things already, like have many websites, my career, and my exhaustive list of achievements. But the thing is, most of those efforts involved me working sporadically.

One day, I could suddenly decide to build a big feature for my website and I'd code it over at a Starbucks, but those features aren't planned nor researched ahead of time. Funny enough, that's how my mood calendar started. I started it on a random day, early in the year, after seeing some person post about theirs on Reddit.

Heck, I'm doing that right now by answering this questionnaire when I'm supposed to be asleep.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Lack of empathy. I genuinely hate people who can't empathize with others or see where others are coming from. I've been with so many people who are non-empathetic towards me and it's honestly just sad.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

LK! It's definitely Lynoelle Kyle E. Arayata. I look up to her soooooooooo much. She has been so influential in my life and I actually titled this blog "A Meaningful Struggle" because LK taught that life lesson in 2021. I have never met a person who had so much sympathy, understanding, and knowledge for me.

I just found out recently that our birthdays are only 3 weeks apart but she's already so much wiser than I am. I seriously look up to her a lot and I believe that she's been a good mentor.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

In recent memory? It's that 2-year situationship that ended recently. I often gave the girl so many things out of the blue. I often gave free food when she asked me to treat her, gave gifts that made me think of them, and even gave them a Kindle for no reason. I had so much money to throw away to a single person, and that was all for nothing. Even though I did all that for a person who I thought was my soulmate, I pray that type of one-sided love doesn't find me again.

7. What is your current state of mind?

I'm writing this at 2:46 a.m., when my usual bedtime is 10:30 p.m., so you could say I'm a little sleepy and tired (despite sleeping all day). But overall, I'm feeling positive. I'm in full control of my life again and, every day, I'm weaving the branches for future me to grow on.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Faith, specifically religious faith. I've seen so many religious people weaponizing their religion or beliefs to stomp down on others. Recently, religious fanatics in the Philippines believe that the California wildfires started because that place is "Sodom and Gomorrah" or they "mocked God at the Golden Globes" or some bullshit like that. I hate religious fanatics, I swear.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

Rarely, if I can avoid it. I only lie if it's the only way for me to get from point A to point B.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I honestly let myself go, bruh. I got so fat over the past 4 years, compared to how I was in 2021. Online deliveries, staying up every day and eating late at night with my situationship, and general laziness brought this upon me. The good news is that this year, I'm putting a stop to my weight gain and I plan on getting fit this 2025.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

A lot of modern politicians, both international and domestic. I have one specifically, but, eh, I'd rather not name them. Him.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Resilience and sheer strength, especially during difficult times.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Empathy and care, especially to those who don't feel the same empathy and care towards them.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I openly talk to myself like a true weirdo. A phrase I've been saying a lot to myself recently is, "We're gonna win, yeah?" I lost a girl who I thought was my soulmate recently because I believe I'm meant for another path in life. I was sick and tired of always "losing" and, after she broke off and left me be, I was left to question myself if I really could win in life.

Needless to say, I always assure myself that I'll win in the long run.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

At the moment, my Mom, sister, and cat Milktea. I love all 3 equally and I wish I could spend more fun times and memories with them.

16. When and where were you happiest?

In recent memory, 2021. Pandemic restrictions were slowly getting lifted and I often met up with my (former) girl best friend, Angela. On most evenings, Jaze and I would just go out to Assi Fresh Plaza at McKinley Hill or eat at Pares Retiro. Almost every evening, I would go on Discord to play PC games with my other high school friends and we'd just have a fun time.

I wasn't involved in any drama that year, and there were no situationships or weird scenarios. My money went to only me and I was able to upgrade my PC, buy the Sennheiser HD 800S, and save up so much money with a salary that's a fraction of what my current one is.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

Singing. I really wish I was a good singer. Despite that, I have sung in front of my coworkers many times. When I sang at the KVH Christmas party back in 2018, people were so happy for me because I sang "Ale" by The Bloomfields, a beloved song that all my coworkers knew. I sang again in front of my Dice coworkers in 2019, and then again in 2022, dueting with Maxine and we performed in a fancy ballroom during our 2022 Christmas party.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My height. I'm 5'3" bro, I'm so fucking short, it's honestly sad. I am pretty sure that my dating experience was mostly ruined because I wasn't 6 foot tall or something.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

It's still dropping out of college and finding corporate work. I swear, I thought I was going to work at a call center all my life and answer tech support questions. I'm forever thankful for myself to have had the courage to pursue my passion: programming.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I would be a seagull. My past blog, A Stowaway Seagull, was named that because I honestly wished I was a seagull who traveled to various beaches. I love the sea and I love land, and I love being able to spread my wings and see how far life takes me. Figuratively, of course. I'm not a bird, and last time I checked, I had no physical wings.

21. Where would you most like to live?

It's a toss-up between some European countryside, a countryside in East Asia, or a countryside right here in the Philippines. I think I want to go for my first pick, though, maybe in England or France.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

Geez, I have so many. I hoard all the things my friends give me and I value seeing them every day. But honestly, it would be my iPhone 16 Pro Max 256GB Desert Titanium. It's my first iPhone and it's a gift I got myself after enduring a horrible 2-year situationship.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

It's despair. Just sheer hopelessness and disbelief for a better future. I've been in this spot before and, if it weren't for my natural optimism, I probably would be in this mindset right now.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

Being a DevOps engineer! I'm able to work on so many things and help so many people. I'm pretty useful and I'm critical to the development of our company's software. I vaguely dreamt of this job in high school and I achieved that dream 6 years later.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

My positivity! I honestly believe there is a better future for all of us and I want to improve the lives of others, even to the detriment of myself. I want to brighten the lives of the people I come across and be a good friend to them.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

Genuine care. Any time a friend asks me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling recently, I appreciate it. I have friends that just invite me to hang out with them out of the blue and I like that about them, too.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

I don't read books, sadly. But I've read many passages by stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius and I would say they're my favorite writer at the moment.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Iron Man or Tony Stark. I've watched the Iron Man movies ever since I was a kid. Honestly, I envision myself as Tony Stark: good with technology and can solve problems quickly with the help of tech. I'm not as skilled, though, but I really look up to them.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Easily d'Artagnan from The Three Musketeers. I'm named after him and I identify with most of his traits. He's quick-witted, ambitious, and he's a hero. He's also prideful and arrogant, which I honestly see myself falling to, and very impulsive as well.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

In the current era of influencers and people who do good things for clout? Hardly any. But I think it's Chel Diokno, a Filipino lawyer who has championed human rights and gives free legal assistance to the public.

31. What are your favorite names?

I like unique girl names! Most of my friends are girls and the ones that have unique names are really interesting. But recently, I've been liking the name "Bell" because I have 2 close friends named "Bell" and it's always fun to talk to either of them.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

Loud spaces. I honestly can't stand loud places or loud people. I really don't like anything loud and I'd be dead if I didn't have any noise-cancelling earbuds on me.

33. What is your greatest regret?

I don't think I have any. I keep thinking back to the times when "I wish I did this" but my mistakes and "wrong choices" led to where I am standing now.

34. How would you like to die?

Peacefully, I hope, and surrounded with loved ones.

35. What is your motto?

It's "a lone star in the sky." I think it symbolizes me being this bright thing that is sadly distant from everything around me. Honestly, after going through the early 2020s, I lost a lot of my close friends and the person who I was closest to left me 3 months ago. I'm doing fine, but no one really knows how deep I'm going through things right now.

Being this bright but lonely individual is a recurring theme in my life. When I did the layout for my high school newspaper, I was the only person to do it all. In college, I was often the one who researched and programmed stuff in my groups. I've always been the guy who always does stuff alone and enjoys life alone.

The day I change that motto will be a happy day, for sure.

In 6 years, I will... wait, no, 5 years

Proust came back to answer the same questionnaire 6 years later and I think this is a pretty interesting idea to come back to in a few years. I'm interested to see how older me will answer the same set of questions, so I guess I'll come back to answer this in 5 years, in the distant year of 2030.

Until then, I guess we’ll see how life changes me over the course of those 5 years.