I don't really know how to start off when it comes to letters like this, but I just want to say.. hi there, future me! I hope this letter finds you well. I've been meaning to write a letter like this for a while now, but I haven't gotten the time (or the motivation) to do actually do it. That's all changed now and, well, here I am writing a letter to you.
So, here I am, future me. I'm in the last year of my teen years now—nineteen! My teen years were filled with so much fun! When I turned thirteen, I met this girl named Jean and she really changed my life so much. She introduced me to romantic love, Vocaloid, Touhou, and so much more. We argued a lot back then and I constantly burdened her because of my immaturity, but that's all fixed now. I also met Elaine, as I'm sure you know, and got into a fandom.
I learned so much in my teens, haha. Remember when we set up so many virtual machines on our old laptop? Or when we tried to play Outlast but sometimes couldn't because it was so scary? Or how about that time when we played Minecraft with Jean and built the Scarlet Devil Mansion? Those times were so much fun. Back when I was in high school, everyday seemed so bright and fulfilling.
Then, as you know it, I graduated from high school! I felt a little teary when graduation came because I would be leaving behind most of my friends—Loy, JR, Ashley, Bernadette, Dani, The RC Crew, Jared, and so on. But I've always wanted to move to newer places.
Eventually, I settled on taking up computer science. My first few months of college were so different (and scary!), to be honest. On my first day, the professor made us go up to the front of the class and introduce ourselves. I wanted to do a John Oliver voice but I think I failed at it, haha. In my first term, I got 2 public speaking classes and that's how I was introduced to my own voice and that's where I learned to accept it.
Soon, I was a member of my college's debate and public speaking organization. I was beginning to feel confident speaking in public and talking in front a crowd on a stage. I grew up so much in the span of a year! Haha, are you proud? I sure hope you are!
It was all fun and in good spirit, making new friends and entering different classes with them and whatnot. But... I realized that, in college, my mistakes piled up.
The first part of college was so much fun, but the latter parts started to feel colder and colder as I drifted away from my blockmates. There were also extremely tough times like when I had to go home at 10:30 p.m., or that part where I had nothing to eat for lunch, or that part when I cried in the library because I missed Jean. I even moved out of the house just to continue studying.
At the end of it, I wasn't able to handle it all anymore. I broke down so much and couldn't get back up.
l became a NEET around early December, ehehe. I became a hikikomori (a shut-in) for a few months and I got really depressed and suicidal. I even unknowingly played this game that almost drove me to suicide. My days staying at home were filled with gloom, so much of it, actually. I spent every day doing almost nothing and it was agonizing.
Then, around February, I've decided I had enough. I turned on my laptop, brushed the dust off the artistic and creative parts of my brain, and designed the best creative resume I could design. And look at it! It's so wonderful! I've applied for jobs in a few cities, and I got a job now!
I'm at this really great company right now, and I'm working near Ayala Avenue! Don't you think that's great? The places around my office building are so beautiful. It honestly looks like I'm in the film "The Wolf of Wall Street" or in the final part of "The Pursuit of Happyness." This place looks like the place for grown-ups and businesspeople and I can't believe I work here!
But that's enough about me, what about you, future self? What are you doing now?
I really hope you are happy. I hope you are content with your works and where you are now. I don't really know what age you are when you decide to read this, but I hope you'll eventually be married to someone you love and have kids of your own.
If you ever become a father, please become a good one, okay? I want you to tuck your kids in at night and fill their heads with dreams. Fill your kids' heads with dreams, dreams we wish we were told when we were young. And be a kindhearted husband to your wife. Treat her kindly and with respect. Future me, please become the father we wish we had.
I want you to be proud and happy with who you are and the path you've taken, future self. By now, the path you've taken in life must be a difficult one, filled with hardships I can't even imagine. But, wherever the winds of change may sweep you, wherever life takes you, please be strong and have a glistening heart.
I want you to stand tall and proud, haha! I want you to live a life that's way happier than mine. Still, that wouldn't be possible if the current me doesn't work hard from now on. And trust me, I will work hard, so that my future self can be happy.
Now, I'm starting to fix my rough edges, I'm going to be kinder, and I'm going to take care better care of myself. I'll use my last year of being a teen to fix myself and shine—just as how I was at the beginning of my teen years.
I will do my best to become a person I can be proud of! I just hope you're as proud of me as I am proud of you.