The Waiting Game

Honestly, I'm not sure what to feel at this point. I'm neither sad nor lonely, I'm quite content with what my life is right now, and stuff like that. If anything, I've been a bit happy these past few weeks or so, which is a pleasant surprise. But still, I can't shake the feeling that something's off.

I feel like I'm waiting for something and I don't know why.

Am I waiting for someone? Surely not, I'm not expecting anyone new to come into my life this late into the year. (You'll never know, but I'll just shut down that idea.)

Am I waiting for an item, a package I purchased? Perhaps. I had bought something expensive from America recently and I'm waiting for it to arrive at my doorstep. But I have a feeling that, even if I receive my package, I'll continue feeling like I'm waiting for something.

Hmmm, am I waiting for things to get better? A bit, yeah. I, the oh-so lonesome introvert, really love the outdoors. I miss commuting, riding on the train, going to malls, walking and singing alone at night, visiting bars, going to my friends' parties, meeting someone, and having a conversation with a friend over coffee—all that jazz.

But am I really waiting for those? If, by some miracle, things clear up before the year, why do I have this weird sense that I'll still continue feeling the same way? Because I will. I will continue feeling like this because those things aren't what I'm really waiting for.

I'm waiting for "that day."

That day where my life's new chapter will start anew, something that absolutely trumps my life's chapters thus far. Something new, something bold, something groundbreaking, something that will make me feel like I'm leaving my current life for something unknown. Unknown?

"Into the Unknown" will probably be the song that'll be on my playlist when that day comes. But with how I'm living my life right now, I doubt that day will come soon.

These days, I'm living life one day at a time, with no expectations for the future. I'm just biding my time, waiting patiently, hoping, believing, trusting, and wishing that day will come. But I know, deep in my heart, that I have to take that step, I have to move forward as well. If I just wait here, in my comfortable spot, nothing will ever happen to me.

I need to move towards "that day," too. Life won't hand it to me on a silver platter. I need to put effort, concentrate my skills, and work hard for it. I know my future self will thank me for my sacrifice. I'm just waiting for the day I'll realize that.

When that day comes, I hope I won't be too late.