2021's Lowest Point

This might sound strange, but I've always wondered what my lowest point for this year was going to be. Is it going to be stress because of work? Depression from being so lonely? A rejection from a girl I'm trying to date? Unfortunately, I eventually found out my lowest point (having just gone through it). And, thankfully, it wasn't anything that had something to do about my mental health. Rather, it's my physical health.

Just last week, I've been physically sick for no underlying reason. Like, real sick. Extremely high fever, loss of taste, body pain, headache, fatigue. All the telltale signs of, "Boy, your body's not looking too good."

While I am glad that it wasn't a mental health issue, a health-related issue is still very serious, especially if one of my symptoms is "loss of taste" and "ruined appetite."

It all started October 3, Sunday. I woke up just before the afternoon and was feeling okay, all things considered. It was the end of the week and I was doing some usual maintenance tasks: checking emails, checking my online to-dos, replying to the backlog of online letters. I started to feel weird so I just decided to turn off my PC, take a nap, expect to feel better after.

Big mistake.

When I awoke, I immediately felt like shit. I know that I never wake up feeling "okay" because my bed sucks, but this was different. I was feeling hot and dizzy. Even though I can shrug it off and pretend that I'm strong by going to another room and getting water, something didn't feel right. Somehow, after taking a short nap again, I knew I wouldn't use my PC for the night and that I'd call in sick for Monday.

Then Monday came and my situation got worse. I couldn't sleep properly on Sunday. I was feeling cold and hot at the same time. I couldn't keep my fan on and come morning, I had no energy to do anything. I somehow just took some paracetamols and slept until the afternoon. When my family cooked those extremely hot Korean noodles for me and I only took a few gulps of water, I knew something was wrong.

I couldn't taste those Korean noodles at all! It was crazy. Every time I ate those, my mouth would always feel like Satan's chair or something. So it was a bit odd when the noodles tasted like medicine.

Something was horribly wrong and by, this point, I was just beginning my descent.

The next 2 days were absolutely horrible. I had to get a spare blanket just to keep myself warm. Add that to the feeling of not being able to swallow/eat anything anymore. I can barely get up as well, especially after resting because I'd always have a fever upon waking up. Even though I was okay before sleeping.

I'm not sure if it was the Rona but, my God, was it bad. If it is, I'll be furious because the last time I went out was to do this dumb, routine, company/government-forced annual physical exam. Imagine getting COVID because you were forced to go out and have your health tested.

Oddly enough, I was extremely "uplifting" throughout all this. I was telling myself, "You have to get up," "you need to take medicine," "you need to pull yourself together, brother" in those times where my body just couldn't cooperate. It's such a weird feeling having my mind on 100% energy while my body is, like, 10-20%. I've usually had it the other way, but I guess having my mind cheer me up and force me isn't so bad.

Eating was the worst part through it all because I could only take a bite or two, which made me waste a lot of food. I feel sorry wasting food. Especially fruits! So imagine my guilt having 2 plates of food that I can't eat, just sitting on my table and some snacks lying around. On Thursday or so, 5 days after getting sick, I tried to eat a dumpling and after the first few bites, I felt like I had no energy and I wanted to puke.

Thankfully, 1 week after initially getting sick, I seem to have made some recovery. I was able to get back on my chair and had enough energy to turn on my PC.

1 week. 1 painful, long week. I checked my boot/shutdown logs and saw that I last interacted with my PC on October 3. After the last shutdown message, the first startup message in a week. In the time since, I didn't touch it nor turn it on. On Sunday afternoon, I turned my PC off to get some rest and what followed was a week of pain.

It's Tuesday, a few days after recovering and I have some appetite now. Some. There are still times where I feel like puking what I ate. I also have gotten a COVID swab test so I'll have to see where that leads me. But hopefully it's a negative because I really can't deal with being COVID positive, even though I am fully vaccinated. I'm sure I'll tell you probably in the next post or the one after that.

For now, I'm not trying to strain myself, lest I get thrown back into a sick state once again. I really don't want to get sick again.